11:22//11:26

i want to cut my hair and smoke my lungs out. i want to play loud music and drink so much i forget how to breathe. i want the world to stop spinning for just one goddamn second. it doesn’t even have to be a second, a quarter of a second would be nice. i want to delete everything of yours from everything of mine. i want to sit on a bus and tell my whole life story to the first stranger that smiles at me. and then leave. i want to remember what it feels like to feel without wanting to build a fortress around me. i want someone to look me in the eye and tell me the truth about everything and anything. i want to not be so fucking scared. all the time. i want to not hurt for one whole minute. just one minute, what’s sixty seconds in the grand scheme of things anyway. i want to remember what it feels like to be twelve and in love for the first time. do you remember what that was like? i want to sleep until the moment before forever. i want to get so close to the feeling of forever that i can taste it on my tongue, feel it on my skin, see it with my own eyes, just to see if it’s worth it. i want you to know how much you mean to me and i’m sorry for all the times i stopped myself from telling you. i want to re-live the best moments in my life so far just so i can remind myself that good things do and will happen. i want to kiss death on the forehead and tell him i’m not just ready yet. i want to kiss the universe on the cheek and tell her thank you for always being here, thank you for reminding me how much i love to be alive